You may ask: “Isn’t Rescuer energy a good thing? I want to be of service!”
And you know it is. I myself tap into it, and lately even deeper. It is nuanced and activates our inner need to help others.
Rescuer energy comes up every time we worry about others and try to control their outcomes. We want them to be happy, to get what they want. We want nothing but the best to come to their lives, and do the best we can to be there for them.
We all want to contribute, right?
But what happens when this contribution comes from sabotaging one’s own safety and thriving? You know… Assuming responsibilities that aren’t your own, helping at all costs, to a point where you start giving a part of yourself away.
Have you ever experienced this type of self-denial for the sake of others? We all have!
Societal narratives and Rescuer energy.
The narrative to be the rescuer in the familial and societal collective comes up on many levels. It’s bounded to values, but it’s also related to emotions like shame, pity, and obligation. All these emotions relate to our tribal instincts, and our need to belong in a group.
Protecting others so we’ll be protected.
The value behind the Rescuer energy and its role is service, but this is often misunderstood. We believe that serving others means going beyond ourselves to make the other person happy, which is something we can’t control. Focusing on our growth and setting boundaries is usually considered selfish.
When we see someone suffer we often experience pity. This means we don’t believe this person will be capable to help herself. We create an energetic bond that connects us to that person’s happiness and well-being. Sometimes this same person is even the one who inflicts a sense of obligation on us, based on the type of relationship we have with her.
Trying to rescue those around us is not only impossible but exhausting.
It generally makes us tired and sad when we’re continually trying to save others. Even more when we see no change in either their attitudes or their outcomes. It’s good to serve, but not at our own expense.
The good thing about stories, being societal or personal, is that they’re just thoughts. And we can willingly change our thoughts, right? Choose what works for us and what doesn’t. This is easier said than done, but what if no one needs a Rescuer?
What if no one needs saving?
If we believed that no one needs to be saved, what would change?
What if we changed the narrative? What if the best way to contribute to the good of the whole is to be gentle with yourself? To develop your sense of worth and value? Would you be able to contribute more then? How would your family dynamics change?
When we let go of those societal narratives and stop playing the role of the Rescuer, our whole world shifts. We shift into deep responsiveness, and move away from over-burden responsibilities that are crippling our shoulders, backs, and diminishing our energy reserves.
You know what you know until you know something different.
Having a better understanding of each other’s lifepath and lessons, helps us to get rid of judgment and let go of our need to control outcomes. Either for ourselves or for others. With a better awareness of our needs and the needs of others we can understand when we can hold someone’s hand, and when it’s better to let go and set boundaries.
It’s not that you don’t help others, it’s that you know and respect yourself.
You honor and care for yourself first, so then you can be of service to others.
Trust others have their own power, and that they’re also able to thrive on their own. If they are willing to do the work. You do your loved ones a disservice when you think less of their capabilities.
You, my dear, are the sacred one!
You deserve to be held and feel supported too. That’s why I love holding Circles because we surround ourselves with people deconstructing old, useless beliefs and creating a new reality, a new way of relating to each other. When you relate to the right tribe you have the kind of selfless and yet empowering support to get you to become your best self.
Imagine the legacy you leave when you teach and guide others from this place of sovereignty and power. I share all about that process witht he people I work with. Let me share a little of what this process looks like.
The three-step process for true transformation.
- Deconstructing what you know.
This part of the process represents acquiring conceptual knowledge. You understand all the ideas that will help you shift your state of being. You gain awareness of your situation and set an intention to change it.
- Immerse into the unknown.
Now that you know, you need to take action. This is the longer part of the process and also the most uncomfortable. You’ll feel uncertain, insecure, but excited at the same time. This is where the support from the right tribe can accelerate your learning curve, as each member shares their experiences and help each other figure things out.
- The embodiment.
Finally, the transformation is complete. You can fully exist as your new self and within your new environment. You experience flow and ease. The new you becomes the only you. The old fears are a distant memory.
With support, you can do anything. I matter and you matter too.