This morning I woke up and did my usual routine. Meditated, had breakfast and started to read a few pages of Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.
Back up to yesterday, my husband and I were at lunch and I said, “I wish I could recognize what this feeling is – it is so uncomfortable”.
You know what, this morning, the universe brought me the answer.
The feeling is vulnerability. I was VULNERABLE.
Just abit of background – what sent me into a tailspin is my website going live with errors – not perfect like I anticipated. The website and technology are my biggest allies in business (my platform to the world) but not having the skill set to know how to work with them, keeps me vulnerable, as I have to rely on others.
If you’ve had a website developed, or worked in the IT arena, the answers to questions can be cryptic. It goes something like this – what do you need? I don’t know what I need? Can you tell me what I need? Yes but what format do you need? I don’t know the format; can you please advise me on the format? And on and on it goes…………
This type of knowledge is way out of my comfort zone and either I delve in deep and learn a whole new language and way of doing things or I delegate and hire someone else to do it.
Which left me without the knowledge or the power to control. I had to let go.
I felt vulnerable! I didn’t have any control and I gave away my certainty. I know this comes with growth and the more I grow, the more I have to give away but diving into the unknown seems like diving into the abyss.
It is really uncomfortable.
However, when things don’t go according to the plan. I am thrown off kilter and this not knowing what to do, keeps me vulnerable.
I am blessed to recognize this feeling. Showing up and being seen in my life, means to sometimes step into this feeling of vulnerability.
It is the feeling that I get when I show up. When I have started a race – the nerves, the anticipation, the feelings can be overwhelming. It is the feeling I get when I go out and don’t know anyone – you know, conferences, networking events or even school events. This feeling is mingled with fear.
However, if conquered or absorbed, it is the prelude to courage. I understand if I lean into this risk of uncertainty and emotional exposure, I can share stories and share gifts with absolute clarity. I can show up and make a difference!
You too, just ask yourself, is this your prelude to growth and stepping up into your potential?
Embrace and recognize being vulnerable – it can be of service to you and your message.
