Healing the mother wound is more than personal – it’s ancestral, cellular, collective and spiritual. This blog gently explores the “good girl” narrative shapes us, what happens when we shed roles in midlife, and how we reclaim our voice, beauty and wisdom. Includes a ritual and invitation to explore more.
We all carry stories from our mothers. Some are nurturing, some are tangled. Some have shaped us with softness. Others have taught us to shrink.
The mother wound is not just something we encounter in adulthood – it’s something we carry from the moment we arrive in this world.
It lives in our lineage. Our mothers have it. Their mother had it too. It’s a wound passed down quietly, often invisibly.
For our generation, the call is different: to become aware of when and how it shows up – and be the ones who can choose to heal it. When we do, we don’t just heal ourselves. We heal seven generations back and seven generations forward.
The mother wound is the ache that whispers, “Don’t shine too brightly”, “Be good”, “Don’t be too much”.
It’s the inherited script that asks us to contort ourselves for love, approval or safety.
But at what cost?
The Cost of the Good Girl
The good doesn’t ask for what she needs. She praises others but forgets to see her own brilliance. She fears being called arrogant if she names her wisdom or beauty. She worries her success will isolate her.
Even as grown women, this narrative lingers.
We hesitate before calling ourselves wise. We stumble when asked to describe ourselves as beautiful. We whisper our soul gifts, rather than speaking them boldly.
But here’s the truth:
You were never meant to be a good girl. You were born to be sovereign.
A Midlife Awakening: When the Whisper Becomes a Roar
For many of us, the quiet whisper of the mother wound becomes loud in perimenopause or post menopause. When hormones shift, roles change and the outside world no longer defines us the same way.
It becomes a natural portal – an invitation to reclaim who we truly are.
What do I stand for now? What is no longer mine to carry? What are the energetic impediments to my path forward?
This time of life called me to expand my own power. To stop looking for permission and begin leading myself. To ask:
How do I mother myself now? What do I offer as an example – not only to my soul, but to others who are watching – especially the next generations?
This is the deeper healing of the mother wound. Not only to break inherited patterns, but to become the mother your soul has always longed for – to yourself, your work and your legacy.
How the Mother Wound Shows Up in Perimenopause and Postmentopause
The mother wound doesn’t just “arrive” in midlife – it unfolds gradually, often beginning in perimenopause and becoming louder postemenopause. These life stages invite you to meet yourself in a deeper, more honest way. Here’s how it can manifest:
In Perimenopause: The Unraveling Begins
- Emotional swings that surface old grief, anger or resentment
- Family triggers, esepcially with mothers or daughters
- Exhaustion from caregiving or over-responsibility
- Feeling unseen or longing to be witnessed for who you “really” are
- A rising intuition – but resistance to trust it
- The sense “I can’t keep doing life this way”
In Postmenopause: The Soul Voice Gets Loud
- Questions of identity: “Who am I without the roles?”
- A visceral urge to stop people-pleasing and self-abandoning
- A deep need to claim beauty, wisdom and body on your terms
- Ancestral grief or reckoning with your own mother’s story
- A fierce clarity: “If not now, then when?”
Energetic Hotspots Where it Lands
- Throat – blocked truth, unspoken desires, hesitation to name your gifts
- Heart – old heartbreak, overgiving or emotional numbness
- Solar Plexus – confidence gaps, fear of being seen, shrinking your power
- Sacral/Womb – shame, creative disconnection, loss of sensual identity
- Crown – disconnection from soul or spiritual belonging.
Sovereignty Begins Within
True healing of the mother wound isn’t about blaming or cutting cords – it’s about reclaiming.
Reclaiming the parts of you that long to say:
I am beautiful.
I am wise.
I am powerful.
I am supported from the inside out.
This reclamation doesn’t come from the mind alone – it rises from the soul. When you step into your sovereignty, you don’t wait for someone to see you. You see yourself. You call back your gifts with clarity and certainty. You describe yourself in ways your ancestors never dared to. And you embrace it without apology.
A Ritual for Healing the Mother Wound
This is a gently reclamation ritual to begin the healing.
You will need:
- A mirror
- A white candle
- A photo of your mother or a symbolic object
- A pen and paper
Ritual Setup
!. Create a sacred space. Light the candle. Sit quietly. Breathe deeply. Let your body soften.
2. Hold your mother’s image. Speak aloud “I see the woman you were taught to be. I release what no longer serves me. I keep the gold of your wisdom and leave behind the fear.
3. Look into the mirror. Gaze into your own eyes and say: “I am no longer the good girl. I am the wise woman. The sovereign soul. I am beautiful. I am powerful. I am enough.
4. Write a love letter from your soul to the part of you that still fears being too much. Let it pour out.
5. Close with: “I am no longer waiting for permission. I choose myself.”
This Is the Work of the Mystery School
In the Sacred Mystery School, we don’t just speak about healing. We live it. We explore the body as a portal of remembrance. We work with ancient wisdom, energy tools and soul based practices to dissolve the internalised roles we’ve inherited and rebuild from the inside out.
You’ll learn to name your gifts. Trust your body’s knowing. Clear the energy of silence, shame and suppression. And most of all, you’ll remember that you are your own best healer.
Ready to Break the Good Girl Spell?
If this stirred something within you – an ache, a memory, a spark – this work is for you.
The Mystery School is a 90 day journey that walks you through deep spiritual recalibration, energetic healing and soul leadership.
Doors are Open (as of May 10, 2025). The next round begins at the Solstice.
Join us if you’re ready to mother yourself, claim your worth and rise in beauty and truth. Click here to join the Mystery School
Amen. Aho. And so it is.
Disclaimer: The insight in this blog are based on 40 years lived experience – my own and those of the hundreds (if not thousands) of women I’ve worked with. This is not medical advice, but rather a reflection of patterns observed through deeper spiritual, energetic and intuitive work. It is shared for the purpose of raising awareness and consciousness. You are not alone in what you feel – and there are always next steps and support available to you.
