Call me crazy but with guaranteed entry into the New Marathon for 2015, I am committed. It is 48 weeks away, I am 30kgs overweight but I am doing it. I have started to train.
As a way of keeping me accountable and a record – I put it out into the world – see my facebook post.
My first goal post is 5km.
This comes in 2 phases. One is to cover the distance (walking/running) and then the second is to run the whole distance. My body is in revolt and my spirit is soaring. This is an experiment. Change your thoughts, change your world.
I have been at it for 4 weeks now and yesterday, I completed the 5kms. It was exhilarating to achieve the first of many milestones. Along the way I spoke my mantras and called on my angels and guardians. Especially, in the last kilometer, of which I ran continuously. This is the longest stretch of running I have completed since I broke my leg back in 2010 and I felt very accomplished.
The real story began in 2009
This is where the real story began. It was 2009 and I was clinically depressed as I crossed the finish line of the London Marathon. Each step of the 33,000 steps was filled with dread, heaviness and sadness. I didn’t know it at the time that I was suppressing the depression and pushing against it. But the black dog was there and it wasn’t until many years later, on reflection really, that I really got it. It is now 5 years down the track and the memory is trying to protect me by keeping me safe. Safety is doing nothing. Safety is standing still. Safety is being numb. Safety is being protected by the weight, which is a cocoon.
But I can tell you, I am breaking out one step at a time.
For me, the wakeup call came in three parts.
Post London Marathon, 7 months later, I broke my arm by slipping during my son’s swimming excursion. I was very angry, but still not taking the message to heart. I defied gravity and tried to run, even though painful with a broken arm. I stopped running albeit very resentful.
Then 6 months after, I slipped again and broke my leg. This was severe. This stopped me in my tracks. I was declared an invalid and disabled. This was the catastrophic trajectory that changed my life. I was in a wheel chair, I was housebound, I was hopeless. Now I was clinically depressed as well as suicidal.
I was being treated for the depression. With the mix of sedentary life and the medication, the weight piled on. At the end of the 6 months, I was 30 kgs heavier and was not me anymore. My identity had shifted and I was lost.
I tried to go back to my normal life. I was at work, on the outside looked bubbly and well, but on the inside really didn’t want to be here. Another message, I mishandled a piece of equipment in the studio and it dropped on my toe. My toe was broken. That was the end. I was making plans.
I recoiled and withdrew. They were dark times.
Fast forward to the end of 2014
I am now training for the New York Marathon for 2015. Each step of my training is a step into the light. I am using all my healing work on myself. I understand and appreciate the body, the subconscious mind and my heart space.
Can I do it? Absolutely yes!
Will I do it from a space of lightness and transcendence? This is what I am striving for and call on my supporters every step I take – I am documenting the journey with pics on my facebook page – you can follow me here.
Moral of this story – asking for help is ok and taking inspired action with tiny steps can be the catalyst to big results.
If you are resonating with this, then please seek medical advice. For me, it was a mix of physiology as well as thoughts, which created my reality. I required medical assistance but also wanted and needed the support of an earth angel who could help me find my way. I wish I knew someone like me back then – this is my catalyst to being here. This is my mission. I am available for sessions or programs. Apply here to set up a time. Blessings xx